Good news: we found time in the hospital to write this fun little post about Asher’s birth.

Bad news: that means this post was written by two extremely sleep deprived individuals, so please excuse any errors.

So, it’s movie night here in the hospital. I’m snuggled up to my pain pump button, and Asher and Isaac are both on food binges, as is appropriate for movie night, I guess. Things have honestly gone more smoothly than expected. We have been playing fun games like, “Name that Korean Hospital Food” at meal times before resorting to some kind of sustenance from our snack bag. They seem to be fond of serving something that closely resembles wall paper paste. We assume it’s an acquired taste… so as much as we have come to like Korean food, we’ve found that a hospital cafeteria may not be the best place to expand our horizons.  They have western food options, but where is the fun in that? (Just kidding, we totally asked for western food, but that was yet another thing apparently lost in translation)

We came in Tuesday night for my scheduled C-Section on Wednesday morning. Despite our many miles walking, spicy food, and all-natural supplements to induce labor, Asher wasn’t planning to come out on his own; he comes by his stubbornness honestly. We were fully prepared to wait it out until his 18th birthday, but when the doctor started throwing around words like “risk” and “very dilemma” (we don’t understand either), we decided that now was the time to meet our new baby boy. We were told to come in the night before in hopes of getting one of the coveted private rooms, as fun as the alternative sounded: sharing a room with seven other people (no we are not kidding). I imagine it would be like summer camp…except worse.

Brooke drove us to the hospital and provided comedic relief well into the night. After snagging the last parking spot, taking the obligatory selfie, and wandering around like lost Americans trying to find admissions, we finally got all checked in. The evening was filled with a mix of charades, Google translate, and extremely poor Korean to complete all of the mandatory hospital paperwork. Let us be clear, the staff was very sweet and attentive, and while many had some knowledge of English, our Korean skills were the ones that were seriously lacking. We were asked all of the standard questions like, “Do you eat any medicine?” and, “Do you have any family history of deeabeets (diabetes) or carcinoma?” We had one last fetal monitoring test to check Asher’s heart rate and to see if I was having contractions. My body was kindly pretending it wanted to have a baby with a series of strong contractions so we agreed to keep an eye on them, and proceed as planned if they stopped. (Spoiler alert: after about 20 minutes, they did.) All the paperwork and questionnaires took the better part of the evening as we continued trying to figure out what they were asking. We feel confident that the “guess and check” method is the best way to fill out important medical documents.

The next morning it was go time! This was by far the most informal surgery prep I have ever experienced. I received the top the night before (no gowns here, they do shirt and pants). I got the pants at 5:00 am. The “surgery hat” as she called it came at 6:00 am. At 7:00 I was told to make sure I had no metal on my body and to go ahead and use the restroom.

At 7:30, there was a knock at the door and they pointed to a stretcher right outside the door. My chariot awaited me.

It felt so surreal. No pre-op meeting with the doctor or anesthesiologist, just, “Hey if you’re not too busy, wanna come get on this stretcher and have a baby?”. I hollered for Isaac to grab his shoes and to come on.

As I was wheeled through the hallways, we had a quick FaceTime chat with Judah and granddad as they ate breakfast.

I was finally pushed into an operating room that looked a little too much like a scene from a horror movie with it’s institutional mint green walls and metal equipment. By the time the wheels came to a stop I realized that Isaac was no longer with me. My fears were confirmed that Isaac would not be allowed in until after the epidural and initial set up. This is when a young Korean man double checked with me that I wanted spinal anesthesia (epidural) as opposed to general anesthesia. I said yes, to which he responded, “Spinal anesthesia–very difficult.” This would be number one in things you don’t want to hear your doctor say during an epidural, which would lead to number two, “we need a bigger needle.” And number three, “We try again. Don’t move.” I’m glad we can laugh about it now…Praise be to God, somewhere around the sixth attempt they got it. It was time to meet our baby.

They finally let Isaac in, and surgery began. Turns out Koreans must not be as squeamish (or tall) as Americans since, unlike in the states, they let Isaac stand at my head, as opposed to sit, and he had just enough clearance to see over the curtain. I’m sure seeing the inside of your wife’s belly really adds another level of intimacy to a marriage. I warned Isaac that if he passed out and abandoned me I would kill him.

So, after about 20 minutes, a few doses of nausea medicine for me, and a couple good heave-hoes from a Korean woman on top of me pushing my belly, Asher was born. Isaac managed to snap one picture as they pulled him from my womb. Naturally it was booty up, which will be great for his scrapbook cover and or high school yearbook. We’ll choose to leave that photo off the internet until our son needs to be taught a lesson the old fashioned way. 

  
I was on the operating table for another hour while they put Humpty Dumpty back together again. They wheeled me to recovery and told me, “You will be here for twelve or thirty minutes.” Bless their hearts. I really should learn Korean. I spent the next thirty minutes staring at the clock, the Korean man next to me, and dozing off between blood pressure checks. I was also trying to scratch my skin off like some kind of addict as I forgot to warn them that pain medicine makes me itchy. When they wheeled me out of recovery, Isaac was waiting for me outside. He had been to the nursery with the baby to watch him get his measurements taken, then was told to come wait for me. Asher had been taken to get cleaned up. 

Much to our delight, Asher showed up in our room about 20 minutes later, and not long after granddad brought Judah up to meet the newest member. And so our lives as a family of four began…